I had always prided myself on being an independent and level-headed individual, not easily swayed by others' influence – or so I thought until I met John (name changed). After my divorce in 2002, I had set up a home with my three teenage children, who were caught up in their own lives. Seeking companionship, I ventured into the world of online dating. John showered me with excessive attention and affection, a tactic known as 'love bombing.' At first, the attention was intoxicating, but I soon realized that his obsession had taken an unhealthy turn.

Our tumultuous on-and-off relationship persisted for two years before I mustered the courage to break free. The extreme mood swings, the suffocating displays of love intertwined with outbursts of anger, the middle-of-the-night visits and incessant phone calls – it all became too overwhelming. John's reaction to my attempt at ending the relationship was to confront me at work and assault me physically. He was found guilty of common assault.

The impact on my life and that of my children was profound. I lost confidence, became reclusive, and lived in constant fear, especially in public spaces. As I confided in friends and colleagues, I realized that I was not alone. Countless women had endured misogynistic, narcissistic abuse at the hands of their partners. In my novel Missing Ella, I explore the extreme consequences of an abusive relationship on one family and their fight for survival.  This book is my legacy to all those who have suffered at the hands of others.  It is hard to move on from but there is resilience, survival and hope.